oh to find peace and tranquility

...my 10 year old daughter was sitting outside our bedroom, I had just got her little brother to sleep and was coming out to say my good nights and prayers with her. What was she doing out there - she has this massive phobia of spiders. There was one on the ceiling of her bedroom which she had tried to get rid of but couldn't. One way of confronting her fear is trying to get closer to them, but she just couldn't do it, so she had been sat outside the door for ages! I got rid of the spider for her (with a massive amount of tissue between me and the spider, not liking spiders myself thank you!) but she still looked miserable, I asked her what was wrong, after much coaxing (by now tears were falling down her face) she told me that she really really tried to get rid of the spider by herself, but couldn't and she thought I'd get cross with her for not doing so as sometimes I (the Mummy) get upset with her for not being able to do it herself!

Oh my gosh! I felt terrible, why, because yes I have in the past been upset with her, but not for her phobia, which I know is a massive one, but because sometimes I'm just soooo tired and being asked to chase after an 'incy wincy tiny spider' when all I want to do is just put my feet up after a long day seemed to get on my nerves a bit - and I guess my frustration at this showed greatly on my face!

I have long looked at myself and wondered where the sweet happy go lucky me went to - and I've realised that I chased that person away with all the extra pressure I put on myself. I am aware that a lot of times when parents get a bit short with their kids is because they themselves are stressed out and tired!

When I had my Pharmaceutical Sales Representative job, yes there was all the glamour of snazzy company cars and trips aboard BUT there was the dreaded DEADLINES and TARGETS, getting out of the house at ridiculus times to meet doctors. I once had to stand outside a GP's surgery at 6.30am on a very icy cold wintery day to get to see 2 target doctors!...and gosh what some reps would stoop to to get sales was weighing me down, and it showed in my home life - don't want to go back there again.

So I am going to do all that is humanly possible to make my business a success, and I pray when it gets to the stage of employing people, I'm damn well going make my company a seriously family friendly place to work! If there's no peace at work, it tends to find a way of spilling over into family doesn't it!

I love flowers, Daffodils are one of my favourites

... this may seem like a long read, but it is really worth it.

It is for all of you out there trying really hard to achieve one thing or the other in your lives or in the lives of others! It was sent to me as part of a newsletter I get giving me information on Social Enterprises (a business trading with a social or community interest)


The Daffodil Principle
by Jaroldeen Asplund Edwards

Several times my daughter, Julie, had telephoned to say, "Mom, you must come see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from my place by the beach to her
lakeside mountain home.

"I will come next Tuesday," I promised, a little reluctantly, on her third call. The next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and so I got in the car and began the long, tedious drive.

When I finally walked into Julie's house and hugged and greeted my grandchildren, I said, "Forget the daffodils, Julie! The road is invisible in the clouds
and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and the children that I want to see bad enough to drive another inch!"

My daughter smiled calmly, "We drive in this all the time, Mom."

"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears and then I'm heading straight for home!" I said, rather emphatically.

"Gee, Mom, I was hoping you'd take me over to the garage to pick up my car," Julie said with a forlorn look in her eyes.

"How far will we have to drive?" Smiling she answered, "Just a few blocks, I'll
drive ...I'm used to this."

After several minutes on the cold, foggy road, I had to ask "Where are we going? This isn't the way to the garage!"

"We're going to the garage the long way," Julie smiled, "by way of the daffodils."

"Julie," I said sternly, "please turn around."

"It's all right, Mom, I promise, you will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

After about twenty minutes we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church I saw a hand-lettered sign ...

"Daffodil Garden"

We got out of the car and each took a child's hand, and I followed Julie down the path. As we turned a corner of the path, and I looked up and gasped.

Before me lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes. The flowers
were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink,
saffron, and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted as a group so that it swirled and flowed like
its own river with its own unique hue.

Five acres of the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen!

"Who planted all these?" I asked Julie.

"It's just one woman," Julie answered, "She lives on the property. That's her home," and she pointed to a well-kept
A-frame house that looked small and modest in the midst of all that glory.

We walked up to the house and on the little patio we saw a poster ...

Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking

50,000 bulbs
one at a time
by one woman
2 hands, 2 feet
and very little brain
Began in 1958

There it was ... "The Daffodil Principle"

For me that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than thirty-five
years before, had begun - one bulb at a time - to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top.

Still, this unknown, old woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of magnificent
beauty, and inspiration.

The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration:

- learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time,(often just one baby-step at a time)
- learning to love the doing,
- learning to use the accumulation of time
- When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of
daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things.

We can change the world!

"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Julie, "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five
years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her direct way, "Start tomorrow, Mom," she said, "It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of our yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson a celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask ... "

"How can I put this to use today?"

For a virtual visit and information for a real visit see ~ The Bauer's Daffodil Garden ~
http://www.geocities.com/thedaffodilgarden/

...it's all good!

...cute photo isn't it. The weather over here is really picking up, lots of sunshine and warmer days. So I've been doing more walking and visiting parks with my little one while my older one is in school. And recently when we go and pick my daughter up from school (with two other kids I drop off home) I've parked the car a distance away so that on our way back we can walk through the fields... there's this lovely path that goes through the back of a riding school so you get to see and feed the horses grazing in the fields, the kids love feeding them, especially my little one, who pulls up the grass (or should I say a couple of blades of grass) and with his little hand reaches up to feed the 'hoss' as he puts it! (I pick him up and we both reach out to the horse... it's a bit scary at first cos you're worried about having your hand chomped off, but we've got the Knack of it now!)

I really have slowed down a bit, and made sure to enjoy everything around me... times too short. This is from one of those forwarded e-mails I got recently, it's been around for ages but this bit stood out...don't dance so fast, time is short, music won't last. When you run so fast to get somewhere, you miss half the run of getting there'

So all the 'not so nice' bits that have been happening so far in my life I know is part of the journey which I've decided to refer to as an adventure now, not a journey (Omara knows what I mean - Leicester life adventure and beyond)

While awaiting my next client, I've been putting a few business ideas together which will move things forward a bit and bring in some more money. And hopefully when I'm buoyant enough, I'll implement them, but most importantly, I've stopped and smelt the roses...

Catch you later...

Thanks Nael!

...all is well

...as you could tell, I was having a bit of a 'woe is me' moment. I was down (and this blog is about my highs and lows) but you know what, as more things are thrown at me - I just lift my hands up and say - Lord it's in your hands.

Seriously, I ain't no super human being and when it's tooooo much, just Let Go and Let God.

So I've got my glad rags on (well not quite as I'm off to sleep in a sec) but you know what i mean, a smile on my face and a prayer in my heart...

The video clip below is old - I remember the first time I heard this song, I was doing my NYSC in Ibadan, Nigeria (that's working one year with the government upon graduating from University or Higher Colleges), I must have been a UK size 8 (seriously, my waist was tiny!) I'd walk down the Bodija streets of Ibadan with my earplugs of my walkman glued to my ears oblivious to the world and some of the back alley Bodija boys making snide comments - It was that late 80's era and I loved my brightly coloured clothes (remember those colours, well they're back now and that's what my 10 year old daughter wears!). I had my favourite track on and everything was alright with the world.

Hope you like it and I wish the lady also appearing in the video - a speedy
recovery!

Bebe and Cece Winans (& guest) - I'm lost without you

From the Heart.....

No I haven't gone all preachy preachy... this reading comes from daily 'thoughts for the day' I get via e-mail from our church, and it kinda spoke to me in a way, read on and you'll see why!

Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering. Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. You sympathized with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. (Hebrews 10:32-35)

The writer to the Hebrews reminds his readers of how they were when they first became Christians, standing up in the face of persecution, suffering, loosing their property & possessions all for the sake of Jesus.

I haven't lost property and no one has been persecuting me, but I do feel quite at a loss right now. Why, okay in previous posts I had said, ...I will be sad no more, at least I'll try but you know how we humans are. I got back from a lovely Easter break spent with family up North to find that our landline phone isn't working. Why, cos we have a hugh bill to pay and unfortunately due to lack of funds we hadn't be able to pay it. When I told my hubby about it, (remember he works quite a distance away from home so he stays there and we see him usually every 2 weeks) he said, well there is nothing we can do about it till the end of the month (pay day!) Hello.... I could be losing valuable business here! Seriously the last few months have been tough (...I know, we all say that) but I guess you get to a stage when you think, oh boy, I can't take anymore of this... I do have a mobile number on my website, but if I were a client, I'd rather ring the landline not the mobile...the message on the landline says "this number is out of service" what does that portray to clients! Will they even bother to try the mobile after that. In the Yellow Pages that I advertise in, only my landline was given!

You know I've come to a stage when sometimes I think, does prayer really help, cos right now, all my prayers and tears ain't doing jack! Business has been good but it's been sporadic! and when money has poured in, I've used it for bills that really needed to be sorted! So unfortunately, the money hasn't gone back into the business to help it grow. Having said that, I got a lovely thank you letter and text from the Mum of the little girl I made a beautiful Princess Doll for..... they loved everything about the cake and loads of people were asking for my business cards (I normally drop off business cards when I drop off a cake, for whatever reason, I didn't this time!)

I just feel sometimes that I try sooooo hard to make things happen, yet all these 'things' just happen to stop my progress! Yes my confidence has been knocked, and yes I know there are worst things that are happening to people out there - but hey, I'm only human, and I'm telling it as it is....from the heart!


p.s - the cake got to the States, but all mashed up! My friend still took it to the party and they ate it.... and loved the taste! at least that's something, but I'm now on Royal Mail's case!

...wishing you all a very happy Easter

I'm only just recovering from a busy week... it's not so much the amount of work I had to do. It is more to do with the time I have to do it. As usual I had about 3 nights on the trot where I only had about 2/3 hours sleep at night! I'd work through the night, sleep around 4 or 5 am and get up 6.30am/7am. My little two year old will be going for 2 sessions a week now at his pre-school which he started two weeks ago... that means I'll have time during the day to work on my creations!

...so why was I up most nights? Well I had an adult cake-decorating workshop to run over the weekend, all the ladies (and one gentleman) loved their creations, I was showing them different cake decorating techniques and the theme was 'Easter'! ...before that I had 2 cakes for 2 different clients from two different continents.....

That's right, one beautiful princess cake for a beautiful blonde 6 year old... her mummy wanted the upright princess cake in baby pink and white....I was up ages doing the cake as my cake suppliers had sent me the wrong doll, so I had to find a way of using a different technique (the cake decorating doll I got had hair that was more red than blonde... I couldn't use it as the little girl I was doing the cake for is well known for her long curly blonde hair)

Then I had this other cake to make, which was going to America (remember I live on the outskirts of London)...It's my second cake to the States.....the first one got there in one piece, I'm praying this one does too, it's a bit more delicate and I was asked to make a cake based on this ladies PASSION for shoes! The lady has no idea this cake has been made for her yet, her sister's-in-law had to find a way of getting into her wardrobe and taking photos of the shoes they suspect she loves the most - hard choice with soooooooo many shoes around!

So I have included a photo of the shoes (and bag) that were photographed and the cake itself, which is on the right hand side of the blog titled 'the cake 2 the States'...what do you think!
Because we wanted to keep the cost of transporting the cake down, we had to do away with the bag... so what you see is a shoe daintly resting on a white cushion....everything you see is edible!

...we're all doing some serious praying that this cake gets there unscathed - will keep you posted!

Wishing you all a very Happy Easter.....go easy on the Easter Eggs!